Blackmailing an Uchiha
by Naruto-fan-Okami-chan
Summary: It's a normal, quiet night. That is until Naruto finds something...interesting. With the help of Kakashi they have captured this in a picture...and now they have a plan. A certain Uchiha's life is about to get very complicated. -SasuSaku-ish-mostly humor-
1. The Picture

**Blackmailing an Uchiha**

**Chapter One- The Picture**

"Kakashi-Sensei…Kakashi-Sensei…_wake up old man!_" Naruto whispered harshly by the Jonin's ear.

"I am not old…and what is it, Naruto?" Kakashi grumbled as his one visible eye opened sleepily.

Naruto seemed to be holding back giggles as he pointed behind him. "I was taking watch like I was supposed to, but then I heard a bit of rustling and mumbling, so I turned around and I found something interesting."

Kakashi gave Naruto a quizzical look. "What kind of interesting?"

"The 'tease our friends for the rest of their lives' interesting." Naruto beamed.

Now Kakashi was interested. "What is it?"

Naruto gave Kakashi the "quiet" signal, and ushered for him to follow.

Kakashi stood and followed after the excited blond. The two only walked a couple steps when Naruto stopped. Kakashi gave him a confused look.

"Well?" Kakashi inquired.

Naruto snickered and pointed down. Kakashi looked down and finally saw what had caught Naruto's attention.

Kakashi grinned through his mask. "Well, that really is interesting."

"I wish someone had a camera." Naruto chuckled.

Kakashi's eye sparkled. "I have one."

Naruto turned to look at the silver-haired man. "…You brought a camera on a mission?"

"Jiraiya paid me to take pictures of hot women in case I find some on my missions."

"Okay…that's just a little disturbing…." Naruto stated. "But it'll work. Get it, quickly."

Kakashi nodded his head, and went back to his resting spot for his bag. He returned a second later with a small camera in his hands.

Naruto motioned for Kakashi to go ahead. The Jonin walked around a little bit until he found a good position, aimed the camera, and forever preserved what had interested them so much with a single click and a flash.

"Now let's leave quickly." Naruto whispered.

Kakashi nodded, and the two left back to their original positions with excited thoughts on their minds.

'"'"'"'"

The next morning Naruto woke up. He jumped. He had fallen asleep on his watch! He quickly whipped his head around to see nobody was up yet, but what had caught his and Kakashi's interest last night had disappeared. Naruto grinned; at least they still had the picture.

Naruto slid off the rock he had perched himself on the night before, and went over to his bag to find something to eat. He seated himself on the grass and began to munch on his breakfast when he caught movement out of the corner of his left eye. He glanced to the side to see his teammate, Sasuke, as he woke up.

Sasuke looked around and spotted Naruto. He half glared at the boy as he seemed to realize it was the morning already.

"I thought I was supposed to be woken up for watch a couple hours ago." He stated.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, at least you got to sleep all night."

Sasuke grunted, stood up, and began cleaning up where he had slept. Naruto grinned when Sasuke had his back to him. He and Sakura, who still slept, were completely out of the loop that had formed last night. He stifled a giggle that escaped his mouth just as Kakashi and Sakura both woke up, and all of them joined Naruto in breakfast.

After all of them had eaten they set off. They were supposed to be back in Konoha by early that afternoon, and all of them wanted a break after their recent mission.

Naruto sped up his pace so he walked beside Kakashi, who led the group back to Konoha.

"So what'll we do with 'the picture'?" Naruto asked quietly as they marched on.

Kakashi looked over at Naruto and appeared to be smiling beneath his mask. "When we get home I'll get it printed."

"Make copies." Naruto suggested.

"I intended to."

"Make copies of what?"

The two turned their heads and saw Sakura not far behind them next to Sasuke.

"Oh, it's nothing." Kakashi responded, and waved a hand back at them dismissively.

Sakura gave them a skeptical look. "Come on, what is it?"

"Icha Icha!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura's eyes widened a little. "The perverted book Kakashi-Sensei reads?"

"Yeah! We're…we're making our own version in hopes to impress Pervy Sage!"

"…On second thought I won't press farther…" Sakura sighed. "You two are such perverts."

"Well now that we're all over eighteen we're allowed to at least check it out! Maybe you should consider it Sakura!"

Sakura glared at Naruto. "Mind saying that again?"

Kakashi smacked Naruto in the back of the head. "Oh whatever…let's keep moving team, I think it's going to rain soon."

"It's a clear day." Sasuke finally spoke up.

Kakashi looked back at the Uchiha. "When you have as much experience as I do, you'll know storm clouds are brewing even before they do."

Both Sakura and Sasuke gave Kakashi odd looks, but everyone remained silent after that.

"_Whew, that was close…." _Naruto mentally sighed. _"We can't let them in on it _just _yet…. Not till everything's ready. Heh, heh, heh…." _

'"'"'"'"

The team reached the village a few hours later, and all of them went off on their separate ways.

Naruto was restless at his place. He waited anxiously for Kakashi to come with the copies of their picture. He paced his apartment while he ate some instant ramen feverishly.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Naruto dropped his cup, effectively spilling its contents all over his floor, and he ran for the door. He flung open the door, and was greeted by a smiling, or at least that's what he could assume through his mask, Kakashi with an envelope in hand.

"Finally, you took forever!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I had to wait in line and then wait for them to develop." Kakashi explained as he stepped inside Naruto's apartment.

Naruto reached out and snatched the envelope in Kakashi's hand. He ripped it open and started to rifle through the pictures with a confused look on his face.

"Sensei…" Naruto began, "all I see is hot girls and—oh my god, you went peeking at a bath house? Naughty, naughty, Kakashi-Sensei! You should have brought me! Where is it?"

Kakashi's hidden smile seemed to grow wider, and he then pulled out a single picture from his back pocket. Naruto grabbed for it, and gazed down at it with a devious grin etched onto his face.

"This is perfect! I'm gonna keep it forever and—" Naruto suddenly stopped as an idea seemed to pop into his head. His grin widened.

"I know that look, Naruto." Kakashi stated. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Naruto snickered. "Just the most perfect scheme in the history of perfect schemes!"

"Do tell." Kakashi beamed.

Naruto motioned for Kakashi to come closer, and whispered his plan into the Jonin's ear.

Kakashi's eye twinkled excitedly. "Clever, Naruto…very clever. When should we do it?"

"I think tomorrow. For tonight…we make a list." Naruto responded.

Kakashi chuckled. "Tomorrow it is, then."

**Okay, I had intended for this to be an oneshot…but I said screw that about…a minute ago. I realized right now would be the perfect time for a cliffhanger, and that it reached the normal amount for a chapter by me, so here it is! (Hey, maybe this'll turn into something really good.) I probably have you people screaming into your computers "DAMN YOU OKAMI-CHAN! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST TOLD US WHAT NARUTO AND KAKASHI TOOK A PICTURE OF!" Well, I'll tell you two things, one, seeing as this is called "Blackmailing an Uchiha" you can already guess who it involves, and two…I'm just evil like that! Fwahaha! Besides, I really wanted to get something out today and an oneshot would take longer! So this also tells you I'm not dead! Oh, and the oneshot I had planned to do before the poll came into effect has been turned into a "whenever I feel like it" thing…and on the poll "Blackmail" was very high! So I couldn't resist! Oh well…I've ranted long enough. I'll try to update soon, but don't count on really soon because school starts again tomorrow since it'll be Monday…meh…. **


	2. The Deal

**Chapter Two- The Deal**

The day following Naruto and Kakashi's forming plan, everyone in the original Team Seven found themselves at the training grounds.

"Ha!" Sakura cried out as she swung down her fist and connected with the ground below it, effectively shattering it and sending shards of ruble flying through the air.

She looked up and saw Kakashi buried in a pile of the upturned ground, and smiled as he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Looks like underground jutsus are rendered useless against you. You should be proud." Kakashi beamed as his real self watched the scene from a branch in a nearby tree.

Naruto leaned over towards Sasuke. Both of them had also gone into the trees to watch Sakura's training exercise. "Imagine what she can do to your head."

"That's why I choose not to piss her off. Sound familiar, Dobe?" Sasuke grunted in response.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Whether we want you to be or not."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed.

"If you two are finished…what's say we head home?" Kakashi called, suddenly on the ground next to Sakura, who also looked up at them expectantly.

The two ninjas jumped down, landing by their teammates, and they all left the training ground.

Sakura was the first to branch off for her house, and so the three men of the squad were left to walk together.

Kakashi glanced over at Naruto secretively. Naruto in turn gave him a sly grin while he nonchalantly patted his pocket. Kakashi smiled and nodded his head.

"Well, I really better be going off. I have to go talk to Lady Tsunade about some matters. See you two later." Kakashi stated, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

By this time Naruto could hardly contain his excited giggles. Sasuke turned and looked at the blond skeptically. "What's your problem?"

"Oh, nothing much…nothing much…there's just some stuff on my mind."

Sasuke said nothing and the two continued to walk on.

Naruto frowned. "You're not even going to ask what's on my mind?"

The two stopped, and Sasuke glanced at Naruto. "Do I really seem like the kind of guy who would care?"

"Well, you got me there…." Naruto muttered more to himself. "But you should care! I am your best friend! And what's on my mind happens to concern _you_!"

Sasuke eyes narrowed. "What's anything got to do with me?"

Naruto couldn't contain it anymore. He reached into his pocket and practically shoved the picture into Sasuke's face. "This is what concerns you, Teme!"

Sasuke seemed to take a second to process what it was he was looking at. Suddenly his eyes widened considerably, and he snatched out for the picture. Naruto allowed him to take it, and turned to release the laughter he had been holding back. Sasuke held the photo in his hands, and couldn't seem to believe what he looked at.

In the picture, clearly depicted, were Sasuke and Sakura, but the two were asleep. Sasuke hadn't seen a problem with it at first, until he noticed their positions. It appeared as though he had reached out in his sleeping state, pulled Sakura over to him, and cuddled her against himself like a child would a big stuffed animal while they slept. Something akin to a smile could be noticed on Sasuke's face, which was buried in Sakura's pink hair.

Sasuke stared dumbfounded at the picture, and Naruto suddenly snatched it from him. Sasuke whipped his head up and reached out for the picture in hopes to destroy it before anyone else could see it.

Naruto laughed maniacally as he held Sasuke back and kept the picture out of his reach. "It's no use, Teme! I got blackmail!"

Sasuke finally pulled away, defeated, and gave Naruto a death glare. "When was this taken?"

"The night before on our last day heading home from our mission." Naruto grinned. "And Kakashi-Sensei's in on it, too! He's the one who took the picture!"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and his glare intensified. "What do you plan to do with it?"

A huge grin etched its way onto Naruto's face. "Oh, me and Kakashi-Sensei are just going to hold it over you as we get you to do our biddings."

"And if I refuse?" Sasuke spat.

"Then first, Sakura gets to see it, and she gets to question you, and we know you don't want _that _awkward conversation, and then it'll be seen by every person in the Leaf Village…and that includes your soon-to-be-bloodthirsty, and probably injured if they go for Sakura, fangirls!"

If glares could kill, Naruto would be dead a hundred times over by now.

"I can see the headlines now: 'Even A Cold Heart Needs Something Warm to Snuggle!'" Naruto then burst into hysteric laughter at his own joke.

"And if I kill you before you can get it out?" Sasuke inquired. "Or if Sakura kills you once she sees it all over Konoha?"

"Then you'll be kicked out of the village and every Nation will be out once again to kill the S-ranked missing-nin! And if Sakura hunts me down…well, then I probably will be dead…but you'll have that over your head while running for your life from assassin ninjas!"

Sasuke took a second to weigh his options, but, finding slavery better than being killed, he sighed dejectedly.

Naruto laughed some more. "Okay then, here's your list of chores!" He then handed Sasuke a scroll that contained all of the things Kakashi and he had come up with for Sasuke to do for them last night.

Sasuke glared some more at the blond, but took the scroll and stuffed it into his weapons pouch.

"I fucking hate you." Sasuke growled.

"I've learned to deal with that. Besides, I accept your hatred if it means I can so successfully blackmail you!"

Sasuke muttered some profanities under his breath, and the two continued on their ways home.

'"'"'"'"

Sasuke practically threw his door open and slammed it closed behind him. He mentally cursed Naruto and Kakashi over and over as he made his way over to his room. He plopped onto his bed and huffed. Naruto and Kakashi actually had him cornered. There was no way he could let that picture go public. Besides his own embarrassment, once Sakura finishes killing Naruto she may actually go for him seeing as he would be responsible for being the one to _let_ it go public.

Sasuke pushed himself off his bed and reached out for the weapons pack he had carelessly thrown aside. He reached into it and pulled out the scroll Naruto had handed to him. He opened it up and read what Naruto and Kakashi had scrawled across the paper.

Sasuke grimaced as he read through the list. He finally let out an exasperated sigh and tossed the scroll onto his nightstand.

"_Once this is over…both of them are _dead._" _

**And here is the second chapter! Be honest, how many of you people actually had a thought the picture would be that? Or did I shock everyone? What did you people come up with anyway? Well…I hope you enjoyed! I'll try my best to get this story to five chapters, but it's more likely that it'll only be four. I'll do what I can! Alright…short author's note. I don't feel well and I am exhausted from the toll school has taken on me! Till the next chapter! **


	3. Author's Note

**Blackmailing an Uchiha**

**Author's Note:**

**Heh, this is the first time I've had to do something like this…well, first time for everything.**

**Anyway…I'm gonna have to hold off on this for a while…it's just not moving. (I mean, I know what the general idea is, get Sasuke to do a bunch of random crap and then have some SasuSaku stuff…but there's my problem. I have **_**no ideas**_**! We should all know this equation: story – ideas + confused/tired writer = no story chapters. **

**Now, before you hunt me down and kill me in my sleep. (Please don't, that would suck…and you'd be responsible for never getting an update from me ever, ever again.) I do plan to work on other stories. I'll still use the polls as kind of a guideline, but I'm almost inclined to throw that out the window and do whatever like I used to. **

**So, basically, don't expect an update to "Blackmailing an Uchiha" until I get some good ideas, but do expect that other things will come out. **

**Hope you people understand. Maybe once my hectic life settles down some (I mean, I even had to shut down accepting beta requests!) then I'll pick back up where I left off on this story. I guess it just wasn't meant to come up yet. (Moreover it wasn't meant to be a multi-chapter.) **

**Oh yes, just so you know, I do have other ideas, and lately, for those who have read some of my older work, some stray ideas have been popping into my head that I think would fit in nicely for a very **_**(very) **_**late sequel to "Cherries and Roses". (Remember that story? Third one I ever made? From January? First month I got here?) **

**So…yeah…summing it up in 300+ words. I'll see what I can do later, but for now…the silence of no writing shall continue. Sorry….**

**~Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (Okami-chan) **


	4. The List Part 1

**Chapter Three- The List Part 1**

**Note: From here on until I say so, this is all in Sasuke's POV**

_Buy Naruto lunch at Ichiraku Ramen!_

I sighed, I expected that one, and I gratefully slashed through it as I sat at Ichiraku's watching as Naruto consumed a vast amount of the noodles he obsessed over.

Naruto placed his finished bowl on the counter with a contented sigh.

"So does ramen taste better when you're getting it through blackmailing someone?" I grumbled.

The Dobe looked over at me and grinned. "It tastes wonderful! You should try it someday!"

"Like I'd be making you buy me ramen when I have blackmail on you." I grumbled.

"Yeah, you'd probably use it for more evil purposes." Naruto shuddered as he seemed to think of what I could make him do. It brought a smirk to my face thinking of it myself.

I stood up. "Okay, you had your ramen, now I can go."

Naruto huffed disappointedly. "Fine…" then he grinned, "So are you off to do the next thing on the list?"

"If it says 'buy Naruto more ramen' I'm stabbing you repeatedly." I growled as I pulled out the scroll with all the things I had to do.

I sighed in a relieved manner. "Looks like I get to leave you finally."

Naruto chuckled. "See you later, then!"

I snorted and then walked away from the ramen stand towards Kakashi's place.

'"'

"So _why _do I have to do your paperwork?" I questioned as Kakashi motioned for me to sit at a desk stacked with papers.

"I thought the answer would be obvious…." Kakashi breathed.

"Besides the fact that you're a lazy guy who would probably procrastinate on it anyway?"

"…Shut up…."

I rolled my eyes.

"The answer should be so obvious…this gives me time to read my books!" Kakashi gestured merrily.

I stared at him for a moment. "That really _is _obvious."

"Exactly! Now get to work my slave." Kakashi chuckled as he pulled out one of his books and walked out of the room.

I looked down at all the paperwork. I wondered offhandedly if I could get away with burning the desk and all the papers, that way I wouldn't have to do it. But I knew in the back of my head that Kakashi would probably just make me do more later, so I got to work.

'"'

_Do paperwork for Kakashi…check._

I stretched my arms as I left Kakashi's place. The paperwork had taken at least two hours, and now that I was done I had to go over to Naruto's.

_Do Naruto's housework_

That was what the next thing said. I sighed exasperatedly as I arrived on Naruto's doorstep. I didn't bother to knock, and entered the cramped apartment.

Naruto emerged from what I assumed was his kitchen with a grin on his face. "Hey Teme, you're here! Are you ready to make my apartment all sparkly?"

"Depends if all these five year old stains are even removable," I stated more to myself.

"Well then, you can start by cleaning up around the sink, because I think that's where the cleaning supplies are." Naruto instructed as he began to walk towards the door. "I'll see you in a couple hours!"

"And where the hell are you going?" I asked.

"I have a few things to do. Hope I come home to see my floor!" Naruto beamed as he opened the door, stepped out, and shut it.

I turned to look at the filthy apartment. My nose wrinkled in disgust.

"_I wonder if I can burn all of _this _place and get away with it…? Nah, Naruto would probably say something stupid like 'clean up the ashes.'" _

With that, I sighed for about the hundredth time that day and got to work.

'"'

Naruto came back as I finished my work. He grinned broadly as he seemed to look down in marvel at having a visible floor. I would have glared at Naruto, but all the work I had been doing today had exhausted me so far.

Naruto wiped his finger against the table in a manner to inspect it for dust. He chuckled to himself. "Wow, you really know how to clean up."

Gaining back some of my energy, I glared scornfully at the blond in front of me.

Naruto turned to me. "So are you ready for the next thing on the list?"

"Can I take a break first?" I inquired.

"But the people are already here." Naruto responded.

At first I raised an eyebrow, but suddenly there was a "pop," and my vision was filled with colored smoke. I waved it away, and steadily the apartment cleared. I frowned as I saw the leftover colored dust coat some of the newly cleaned apartment.

"So is he really gonna play with us?"

I looked down, and there I saw the three little kids that seemed to worship Naruto.

"Yep, Teme here will be a great play buddy!" Naruto replied to the boy with a long scarf around his neck.

"Yay, so we finally have someone else to play ninja with!" The girl with weird orange hair exclaimed. I really couldn't think of any of their names for the life of me.

Then a question suddenly popped up as I took in their appearances. All three of them had Leaf Village headbands.

"You guys _are _ninja, though? Why would you pretend to be what you are?" I asked.

The three kids and Naruto looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Teme, don't be a fun sucker! They haven't played it in a while, sure, but playing ninja is the best way to sharpen your real ninja skills!"

"I'm pretty sure that's called _training, _Dobe."

"Glad that you see our point, Teme! Now go and show them a good time!"

I looked back down at the three kids who were all grinning expectantly up at me. I huffed.

"_This is going to be so degrading…."_

And with that, the four of us left Naruto's apartment.

'"'

"So why couldn't you just go to Sakura about this?" Ino asked me.

I kept the glare I had on the walls of the flower shop. "I…wanted to get to the nearest place."

Ino shrugged her shoulders and didn't press much. "Who did this to you anyway?"

I took a brief glance over at my wound. While playing ninja with those three kids they decided to bring out some kunai. I, doing the stupid thing, had lowered my guard with them around. Underestimating things really will be the death of me, and I didn't react as well as I could have, and ended up with a kunai protruding from my arm.

Now, with the inability to even think straight about Sakura with the current blackmailing situation, I thought there was no way I could go to her to explain such an incident. First off it's just plain embarrassing, and second she'd be questioning my reason for being with a bunch of kids in the first place. So I went to Ino, who I hoped wouldn't press on the matter as she is now.

"It was a training accident." I answered. Me playing with a bunch of kids will never be known by anyone else ever unless they want to die, and that's exactly what I told those three kids.

_Play ninja with Konohamaru (that was the first guys' name!) and his friends…check. _

"Alright, I'm done." Ino declared.

I looked down. The only indicator that I had been injured was the blood stain on my shirt where the kunai had pierced me. I stood up and started to head for the door.

"Hey, Sasuke!" Ino called.

I turned slightly to indicate that I was listening.

"You know you don't have to lie, if you want to spend more time with me just say so." I couldn't see Ino's expression, but I knew it was probably a sly grin.

For a split second I thought I was going to gag. I wanted to just leave, but experience told me that saying nothing to a girl meant they'd believe they were right. There was no way I wanted that.

I snorted. "Keep dreaming…this was the only time…ever."

I still didn't turn to see her expression, and I don't even know whether or not I hurt her, but I didn't entirely care at that moment. I continued on my way down the road.

I pulled out the scroll and marked off the things I had recently accomplished. I scanned around the page a bit and frowned. I rolled the scroll back up and put it away.

"_By the time this whole fiasco is done, my pride will be saved, Naruto and Kakashi will be dead, and Sakura will never know what happened…hopefully." _

**TADA! Feel the joy people, feel the joy! I have finally overcome my stuck position! Ooh, and I still have a few more ideas, but I still think the actual blackmail/errand portion will only last another chapter. Unless of course you help! I can't remember who it was right now, but the Sasuke and the Konohamaru squad thing was actually submitted by someone in a review! (I'll probably check who it was later.) Anyway, so I have returned! Next I'll probably update "Riddle in the Leaves", and then I'll come back here. So look forward to that everyone! **


	5. The List Part 2

**Chapter Four- The List Part 2**

_Ramen for Naruto!_

"Dobe, I already got you ramen!" I growled as Naruto grinned expectantly at me in front of Ichiraku's.

"And I already have the copies of the 'you-know-what' picture." Naruto sneered triumphantly.

I glared at the blond, but reluctantly relented to what was written on the scroll. Naruto gave a joyous leap and bounded into the ramen stand.

I sighed, and I still had so many more things to do.

'"'

"I do not understand this in the slightest." I grumbled as I stood in front of Kakashi.

"It makes perfect sense! Now get in there boy!" Kakashi ushered.

I snorted. "No. Way."

Kakashi glared maniacally down at me. "So you want your picture to be seen all over Konoha?"

_Get Kakashi his special books_

I scowled. "I thought you already had all those Icha Icha books."

Kakashi's eye widened in shock for a second. "You can _never _have enough porn!" Kakashi exclaimed, gesturing wildly like a child.

I stared down my former Sensei through narrowed eyes. "You are such an embarrassment to the name of ninjas."

"And so are you for sleeping so soundly while me and Naruto took your picture. Now get in there before someone else buys my precious novels."

"…You freak." I muttered as I turned on my heel and very reluctantly entered the book store.

'"'

_More ramen for Naruto!_

I drummed my fingers irritably on the counter of the ramen shop. Naruto slurped up more of the ramen I had been forced to buy him.

"Dobe…I'm going to be laughing the day you die from consuming too much ramen." I growled.

Naruto looked over at me with another one of his trademark grins. "Well then, till that day, refill!"

I sighed and wondered how much more torture I would go through until the list was completed.

'"'

_Messenger Boy!_

I paced for a long time to complete this task. First I paced my room, cursing Naruto and Kakashi as many ways as I could, then I paced it again to plan how I would proceed with what Naruto and Kakashi wanted me to say as the messenger, and then I paced in front of the Hyuga mansion because it was so damn big that it took a while for anyone to get to the door.

Finally, the one I had been waiting for came out. It was that shy girl, Hinata Hyuga. She looked surprised to see me to say the least as she came out the door to the mansion.

She didn't say anything as she stepped out and stood in front of me. She seemed to be waiting for me to say something. Damn you Naruto for deciding to put the two quietest people of the Rookie Nine face-to-face. The idiot.

"W-why did you want…to see me?" Hinata finally stammered quietly.

Her voice pulled me out of my trance of cursing out Naruto, and I looked over at the heiress.

"The Do-Naruto…sent me over here." I answered.

Hinata's face got a little pink at the mention of my blond teammate. I sighed. Naruto really was an idiot if he couldn't even do this himself.

"Hewantstogooutwithyou." I said as quickly as possible.

"W-what?"

I sucked in my breath. This was so degrading. "Naruto. The idiot of us all. He wants to…go on a date with you."

If there was a meter for the level of blush that could appear on someone's face, Hinata was about a perfect ten. I really hoped she wasn't going to faint, it would cause so many troubles, especially with the Hyuga's since they'd think I did something to her.

"A-alright…." Hinata stuttered. This seemed to take all of her willpower to say. She seemed to be trying not to pass out.

"Good, now my stupid job is done, and the Dobe will probably come by to talk to you later if he's smart enough to actually plan things." I announced, and then quickly left the area. I'm pretty sure I heard a thump behind me, so I assumed the Hyuga girl finally lost it and passed out.

Oh well, not my problem anymore. I want to get the rest of this stuff done with.

'"'

_Come by Naruto's house, he'll give you a grocery list_

"You should know I'm not paying for your groceries, so hand over the money, too." I demanded as I stood in Naruto's apartment, which, much to my irritation, was filthy even though I had already gone through the hell of cleaning it today. (A/N: Remember last chapter.)

"What? Why should I have to pay for them when you're the one getting blackmailed?" Naruto whined.

"Because I already paid a crap load of money to buy you all that ramen, so obviously you'll have the money to pay for your own groceries as you normally can." I growled.

Naruto huffed. "Whatever, but don't go buying a bunch of tomatoes you veggie freak! Come home with the good stuff! Or else that picture's going to be all over the place by sundown!"

I glared at the Dobe, grabbed his frog wallet, and marched out of the apartment.

I came back about an hour later. Naruto surveyed the stuff I had gotten.

"You got the wrong brand of ramen! What is this stuff? It's like…another language or something!" Naruto complained.

"Dobe…" I stated. "It's upside down."

Naruto looked at the cup of ramen in his hand, turned it around, and blinked a couple times. "Oh, hey, check that out."

"Idiot." I muttered.

"Teme. But whatever, this is fine."

"Good, I'm going now." I responded.

"Not without me!" Naruto called.

I glared at him. "Why should you come?"

"Look at the list." He answered.

I pulled out the scroll, opened it up, and went down to where I was now. I read the one right below it.

_RAMEN!_

A vein twitched in my forehead.

"I should really start carrying around liquid poison to stick in your ramen." I murmured.

"What was that?" Naruto asked as he prepared himself to go out to Ichiraku's.

"Nothing," I answered, and stomped out of the apartment with Naruto on my tail.

'"'

_Bring Sakura flowers and offer to help at the hospital._

If my normal nature wasn't calm silence, I probably would have started yelling as loud as I could at the Dobe and started to beat him to a pulp. There was no way in hell I was going to do what they wanted me to.

"Come on Teme, show your caring side! I bet Sakura will love it!" Naruto suddenly grinned. "And maybe she'll show you her…office."

"Dobe, either you shut the hell up, or I'll make you." I glowered. "I am not doing it."

"But that doesn't mean me and Kakashi won't do what we have to do in the case of you trying to escape this." Naruto responded, and pulled out a very familiar picture from his jacket. "The copies are all waiting at Kakashi-Sensei's house. All I have to do is go there and say the word."

"You know what, Dobe? Fuck you."

"You mean Sakura!"

"…Go die."

"Come on, Teme, we all know consciously _and_ in your sleep you want her! Though I don't know how you'll stand with her if you let this blackmail reach the public. I think she'd be pretty upset with you." Naruto grinned.

I gave Naruto a hard stare, and then marched off to Yamanaka Flowers….

Worst idea of my life.

"Sasuke! You're back!" Ino squealed. "Did you get injured again?"

I glared at the blond. "No. Now leave me alone."

Ino was silent for a second, and then suddenly gaped up at me. "Are you here as a customer? Oh, then I can't leave you alone! It's my duty to help you choose out the right flowers for whatever occasion! So I'll let you know right now that I like roses."

My glare intensified, and Ino seemed to get the message I wasn't in the mood.

"How may I help you?" Ino asked.

"You can leave me alone." I grunted as I scanned the many bouquets in the flower shop.

"At least tell me who they are." Ino pleaded.

I looked over at her with a slightly perplexed look.

"Who's getting the honor of having flowers be given to them by _the _Sasuke Uchiha? Is it a girl? Is it Sakura? It's not Naruto is it…? It'd be a shame to have yet another hot guy around here be gay."

The mind of a girl is a very confusing one…and an irritating one. But thankfully at that moment my brain processed a lie.

"It's for my parents' graves." I said.

Ino's eyes widened and I expected some other stupid remark to come out of her mouth, but instead she got quiet.

It probably wasn't the best thing I could have said. She knew my parents had been murdered, and now even I was feeling depressed thinking about them. I tried to snap my thoughts away from that, though, and focus on what was really at hand.

I grabbed for a bouquet I thought Sakura may like and went for the register. Ino said nothing as she totaled it up and I paid her. I started to leave the store.

"Sasuke." Ino called.

I mentally signed, but stood still in an inclination that I was listening.

"I'm not stupid." At that moment I knew my lie had failed and she was probably grinning widely. "Those aren't flowers you'd put at a grave."

I tried to continue on my way like I'd never stopped in the first place.

"Remember! It's love, marriage, and _then _the baby in the carriage! Sakura will think so too, so don't try anything!"

By that time I was moving as briskly as I could without breaking into a full out run that may catch others attention.

People are so irritating.

'"'

"Oh…uh…I…don't know what to say…. Thanks." Sakura stammered as she held the flowers in her hands.

I didn't say anything. I had simply put the flowers in her hands and stood there. I probably looked like an idiot.

"Uh…do you…want to come by my office with me…or are you in a rush?" Sakura asked.

For a moment I had to do a double take. Was Naruto actually right? Was she going to—shit, shit, no! What am I thinking? What _am _I thinking?

I shook myself for a moment. "I guess…is there anything I can help with?"

Now it seemed to be Sakura's turn to do a double take and make sure I wasn't Naruto in disguise or something.

I knew I had to say something to clarify. "Do you need any help? Organize papers, get you stuff, do something to help?"

I think now Sakura was doing a triple take. This was definitely one of the last things that would probably ever come out of my mouth.

"I…guess you could help me a bit." Sakura answered. "Uh…let's go by my office first so I can put these down."

I nodded. I didn't have it in myself to speak at the moment. When Sakura had her back to me I pulled out the scroll. There was one last thing on the list I hadn't gotten at first, but now I think I understood what it meant.

_Get that pole out of your ass!_

Kakashi and the Dobe wanted me to ask Sakura out.

**And this chapter is done! This isn't how I wanted to end this chapter, but it still works. I would have thought I would have gotten farther, but then again this is good because now I have more stuff to make the final chapter longer, too! Well, sorry I didn't get this out earlier. I actually did the rest of this chapter in one sitting! Any earlier time of the day I was either reading, out of the house, or beta-ing! Busy, busy life, eh? Well, at least this is done! So till the next time! (But be warned that it may take a bit till I get the last chapter of this thing out.) **


	6. The Last Thing on the List

**Chapter Five- The Last Thing on the List**

**Note: NOT in Sasuke's POV anymore**

Sasuke pressed his lips together into a fine line. What he had to do would definitely be hard. It wasn't so much the problem of convincing Sakura he really liked her, because he did even if he ever tried to deny it, and he knew Sakura would believe him. It was actually _saying _it. Uchiha problem number one: crappy with words.

The two walked into Sakura's office, and Sakura proceeded to find a good spot to place her new flowers. Sasuke stood silently at the doorframe for a couple of minutes as Sakura put her flowers in a nice place on her windowsill.

Sakura turned and looked at Sasuke skeptically for a moment. "You know you can take a seat if you want to."

Sasuke stared at her for a moment, and then shrugged his shoulders, but remained where he stood. Sakura continued to look at him for another moment before she sighed, realizing Sasuke's resolve, and continued about the room.

Sasuke, while Sakura rifled through a file cabinet, took the time to ponder what he was going to say.

"_Sakura…we've been on the same team for many years…and we've done a lot. Gone on missions, insulted the Dobe, okay I left for a few years and caused a bunch of mayhem, but if you look past that time…we've grown together into…okay I sound so stupid. You're not proposing to her or anything! Argh…." _Sasuke mental speech went on. _"Heh…Sakura…I've been thinking some things for a long time…leave out how the Dobe and Kakashi are making me do this…and what I've been thinking is…I like you…a lot…like…more than a friend. Do you get it? Am I making any sense…? Or do I sound as stupid as I think I do right now? Damn it!"_

"-asuke."

Sasuke looked up, Sakura stood in front of him with a curious expression.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted.

"What's up with you? You spaced out or something." Sakura questioned.

"…Nothing…." Sasuke replied.

Sakura gazed at him for a moment, but blew it off anyway. "Alright…so are you ready to help out?"

Sasuke nodded, and Sakura directed him towards her desk. Several stacks of paper were littered about.

"I need you to help me organize through these, and then when we're done there should be some things we'll have to give to some of the other doctors, so we'll need to go through the hospital to drop them off." Sakura explained.

Sasuke looked down at the papers. Sitting down and working like this really wasn't one of his favorite things, but this would probably give him a lot of time to talk to Sakura. With that thought, he pulled up a chair while Sakura moved around to her office chair, and the two got to work.

"Okay, so if they have symbols like these on them"—Sakura gestured towards a symbol on the corner of one of the papers—"then put it over here." Sakura placed the paper near the corner of the desk. "And if there's any like this"—Sakura indicated another paper with a different symbol—"stick it over here."

Sasuke nodded his head briefly as she explained, and Sakura then gave him a few more things to look for on the papers before they settled down into their work.

It was silent for several straight minutes. Sakura was focused on her work, and while Sasuke was as well, about half of his mind was directed towards how he was going to win over the pink-haired girl.

"_Sakura…I want to go out with you…no. Sakura…would you like to go out some time? Rrr…_Sakura, _I would like to go out with you. Damn it this is hard." _Sasuke thought. _"Come on, it's just Sakura. She said she was in love with you all those years ago, so she'd probably jump at the opportunity to go on a date with me. I just have to spit it out! 'Sakura, I want you to be my gir—'" _

"Sasuke, are you alright? You seem stressed out." Sakura stated.

Sasuke looked up from the papers and locked eyes with Sakura. He blinked once, looked away, and then grumbled a resounding "I'm fine."

Sakura stared at Sasuke for a moment. "Alright…but you've been acting so odd lately. First flowers, then helping here, and now you're so spaced out."

"_That's because Naruto and Kakashi are jackasses, I'm horrible with words of emotion, and you're just…so…you! Damn it…." _Sasuke mentally huffed.

"It's nothing…." Sasuke grunted, and looked back down at the papers.

"_Why is talking to her so hard suddenly? I mean…she's just like every other girl, right? Nothing special besides the fact she's not a fangirl and I actually _like _her…. This shouldn't be so hard!"_

"Why do you have to be so annoying?" Sasuke grumbled.

"I'm what?" Sakura's voice questioned sharply.

Sasuke tried to conceal his shocked expression as he realized that Sakura had heard him. Sakura gazed at the Uchiha through narrowed, but surprised eyes. The nickname "annoying" had died a long time ago, ever since Sasuke had returned home a while ago he had never called Sakura annoying, and it hurt Sakura in an especially sharp way that brought up hard memories to hear him call her by that again.

Sakura stood up suddenly, and then started to make her way over to the door. Sasuke frowned, knowing what he had just done had hurt her.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura didn't turn around. "Just…to the bathroom…I'll be back in a minute."

Sakura left the room abruptly, which didn't give Sasuke a chance to say anything. As soon as Sakura was gone he hit his fist against the tabletop.

"I really do suck at words…. Damn it…." Sasuke muttered. "She's probably in the bathroom crying right now…. Argh, you idiot."

Sasuke stood up. He knew he had to make it right between them before he tried anything like actually asking her out. He left the room and stopped.

"Shit…where are the bathrooms anyway? I don't know where they are from Sakura's office…."

Sasuke took a couple of glances down both sides of the hallway, went right, walked down for a moment, and then turned on his heel to walk left.

"I hate hospitals…." Sasuke growled. "Stupid mazes are what they are…go the way you think is right and you really have to go the other way…stupid hospitals…stupid problems…stupid life…."

Sasuke stalked down the halls of the hospital until he came to a sign for the bathroom. He looked towards the girls' bathroom, and silently pressed his ear against the door.

…There was nothing…not a single noise. Sasuke let out an aggravated sigh and turned on his heel to find another restroom Sakura may have gone into.

Then he heard it, a soft whimper that he would have missed if he had sighed a moment longer. He turned back around and stood still. There was another soft whimper, followed by a sharp intake of breath.

Sasuke's heart wrenched uncomfortably, Sakura really was crying. He clenched his fists as he mentally kicked himself over and over for making her cry. It had been years since he had made her cry and he had even thought he'd never do it again after he'd realized how he felt for her. But there he was, listening to her cry outside of a bathroom.

Then he heard another distinct sound, the sound of footsteps. Sakura was coming out! He quickly looked around and made a dash into the men's bathroom. He shut the door just as the girls' bathroom door opened. He heard Sakura's footsteps click across the ground and steadily move farther and farther away. Once he couldn't hear them anymore, he opened the door, peeked outside, and then exited the bathroom.

Sasuke glanced down the halls. No one was around. He made his way over to Sakura's office. He knew he had to apologize fast before the situation morphed into some huge problem. He reached Sakura's office and opened the door, but she wasn't in there. He entered the office and looked around. It didn't look like she had even stopped by after she left the bathroom.

Sasuke walked towards Sakura's desk. The flowers he had given her were just a bit off. He reached over and picked one up. He stared at it and thought depressingly of his issue with Sakura.

"Why am I so bad at words?" He huffed.

"I don't know."

Sasuke tensed when he heard the voice, and knew immediately who it belonged to. He looked over. Sakura was leaned against the frame of the door.

Sasuke gulped and took a step forward. "I'm…uh…I'm really…"

"Don't bother saying it." Sakura interjected.

"But…"

"Please," Sakura continued. "Just don't say anything."

Sakura began to turn away, and in an act of frustration Sasuke raised his voice. "I'm trying to apologize! I don't know what's going on in your head, but I would have thought you'd at least listen to me!"

Sakura froze. Sasuke stepped forward and crossed the distance between them. He put a hand on her shoulder, turned her around, and held up the flower he had picked up.

Sasuke looked down into Sakura's eyes. "Really. It slipped out. I didn't mean it."

Sakura looked back at him, and then down to the flower. Sasuke saw a light smile cross her features as she reached up and took the flower.

"Okay," she said, "and…thank you."

Sasuke nearly smiled at the sight of her and the flower. "Right, so should we get back to work?"

Sakura gazed back up at him and nodded. The two then walked back towards Sakura's desk and sat down to continue on with their original task.

'"'"'"'"

Sasuke and Sakura walked out of the hospital. The sun was just about ready to set. The two stopped and Sakura turned to face Sasuke.

"Thanks again for the help." Sakura beamed.

Sasuke nodded. "It was nothing."

"Come on, it was one of the nicest things you've ever done." Sakura giggled at the thought of Sasuke doing nice things, and then looked up at him. "I'll see you later then."

Sakura began to walk down the road. Sasuke took in a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Sakura," Sasuke called, "wait."

Sakura stopped and turned around. Sasuke came up to her, put his hands on her shoulders, and took another breath.

"Do you want to go out some time?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura blinked and stared at him for a moment as what he said processed in her mind. Suddenly her cheeks reddened and she looked away.

"I-I…I'd love to…Sasuke." Sakura muttered, unable to look up at him and becoming redder by the second.

Sasuke smirked, "Great."

Sasuke looked over Sakura's head slightly, and noticed a familiar blond head peeking over a wall at them.

Sasuke let go of Sakura and started to walk past her. "I'll…be right back."

Sakura blinked and turned to see Sasuke walking away. She looked down at the ground idly. "O-oh…okay."

Sasuke continued on and reached the grinning blond.

"So, I imagine you just finished the last thing on the list?" Naruto chuckled.

"Yeah, now hand it over." Sasuke ordered.

Naruto sighed, but reluctantly pulled out the picture and handed it to Sasuke. He snatched it away from the blond, glared at him, and then started to walk off. He reached Sakura, who was still standing around wrapped up in her girlish thoughts of what just occurred. He was pretty sure she didn't notice his quick chat with Naruto.

"Are you ready?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura snapped her head up. "Oh…yeah."

Sasuke reached down and grabbed Sakura's hand. He tugged lightly and began to lead Sakura down the road.

From behind, Naruto popped out with a wild grin on his face. He sucked in a breath and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Remember to pace it Sasukeeee! All good relationships have to go slooowlyyyyy!"

Sasuke stopped abruptly and stumbled forward on a rock as Naruto finished his exclamation. He turned on his heel and glared back at Naruto. He growled, gave Naruto the finger, and started to stomp forward.

"Do that with Sakura in a few years Temeeee!" Naruto called.

Sasuke didn't bother to turn around, mostly because he didn't want anyone to see the pink that rose in his cheeks. He continued to go forward, forgetting Sakura behind him who had noticed a peculiar, folded up piece of paper on the ground. She reached down and picked it up. She opened it and then stared down in disbelief at the picture she saw on it.

Sasuke was still going forward when Sakura called after him. "Sasuke…what is this?"

Sasuke turned around and immediately his eyes widened as they spotted the picture in Sakura's hand. Naruto, still a little ways off behind their female teammate, realized what she held as well, and looked to be somewhere between shock and having the urge to laugh.

Sasuke gulped, this was going to be _very _awkward explaining to Sakura.

**THE END**

**Haaa…it's over! And fall break just began a few hours ago! (Actually at the moment I'm typing this I should be getting out of school on a normal day, but we had a half day today so, ha!) Well…this had a pretty bumpy road in the writing time. When did I start this? Shit, according to my thing some time in August! Well, it should have been released as an oneshot way back in August so…and with the break because I didn't know what to do…I guess it's kinda understandable. Well, now I can work on RitL and CC as much as I want over fall break! Yay! So then…catch you all later! Hope you enjoyed! **


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